Cycle 19: In Sickness and in Health: Wedded to the Body, Married to the Mind

To C or Not to C

In their 2000 report, the Food and Nutrition Board (FNB) of the USDA established an RDA of 90 milligrams of vitamin C for males between 31 and 50.

Balch and Balch, alternative medicine gurus, urge a daily intake of 3,000 milligrams of vitamin C combined with mineral ascorbates.

Dr. Perricone, author of the bestselling Wrinkle Cure, recommends a dermatological supplement of 1,000 milligrams of vitamin C ester (not to be confused with ester C).

Linus Pauling (1901-1994), two-time Nobel Prize winner, took 18 grams of vitamin C everyday and exhorted everyone to take 10-12 grams to prevent heart disease and cancer.

Dr. Arthur Robinson, erstwhile colleague of Linus Pauling, found that high doses (around 5-10 grams for humans) caused skin cancer in mice.


If you want the flu to pass you over this year, get a flu shot in the fall and keep away from sneezy coughing people in the winter.

If you can’t avoid sick people, wash your hands frequently, and don't touch your eyes, nose, and mouth.

If you feel like you’re getting sick, take megadoses of vitamin C, drink echinacea tea, and suck on zinc lozenges every two hours.

If you’re coughing, spit the phlegm out. (Expectorate!) If you’re running a fever and your body aches, stay in bed and sleep as much as you can.

If someone is taking care of you, make them cook you chicken soup. (If they don’t cook, make them buy you hot-and-sour soup to-go from your favorite Chinese restaurant.)

If aches and pains are making it hard for you to get to sleep at night, drink a shot of whiskey at bedtime. (If paranoia is keeping you up, calm yourself down by telling yourself you can get tested for STDs when you’re better.)

If you can, enjoy this respite from your usual habits and responsibilities.

The Second Remembrance

How to keep my equanimity when my lover has been sick with a mysterious illness for a year and I am alarmed by the thought that I might have to take care of a sick person for the rest of my life.

How to want to do the right thing instead of just doing it because I don’t want to look bad to others - or to myself.

How to suffer the resentment of having responsibilities I didn’t choose.

How to determine when it’s wiser to leave than to stay, to escape than to endure.

How to face the wish that someone’s death would set me free.

How to really help another person.

How to learn from suffering.

The Mind-Body Problem

So you can’t get it up . . .
Relax – it happens to the best of us.

If it’s not just an occasional lapse anymore, you should see a doctor, get things checked out.

Your blood tests are normal – what you need is a therapist.

No luck with the headshrinker? It wouldn’t hurt to try some natural remedies. They say gingko and ginseng work wonders. Stay away from that Spanish Fly stuff though.

No dice with the herbs? Viagra should do you. (A big hardon’s worth a little headache, don’t you think?) See, it wasn’t just in your head after all.

Vitamin V’s not working so well anymore? Better see a urologist. (But don’t get suckered in by the Boston Medical Group – they’ll want you to inject your dick every time you want a woody. Owww!)

Since you have normal nighttime erections, I guess the problem’s in your head after all. (Wasn’t that RigiScan contraption a trip?) Your problem is, you think too much.
Don’t know what else to tell you. Give up sex? Just accept it? (Penises need love too.) Wait for a better drug? Hypnosis? Neurofeedback? EMDR? Affirmations? Meditation? Penitential confession? Vacuum device? Surgical implant? Substitutive perversion? Voodoo?

Trojan Whores

Rome: Fornication is a mortal sin.

STOP AIDS: Play safe.

Mother: I don’t want to know.

Lover: Tell me everything.

Father: Life is short.

Superego: You’ll get AIDS.

Trojan: If used properly, latex condoms will help to reduce the risk of transmission of HIV infection (AIDS) and many other sexually transmitted diseases.
Caution: This Product Contains Natural Rubber Latex Which May Cause Allergic Reactions.

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